Apology -- the Unknown Universe

I have been collecting bits of information on the subject of apology and I decided it was finally time to share them. But I found I have way too much for one post, so I am dividing it up into 4 posts:

1. This one, which is an excerpt from a chapter, I wrote for a continuing legal education manual on law practice management.
2. All about written apologies
3. Public apologies in the media age
4. The legal movement to use apologies with or without litigation

The client has a problem with your services

When a client becomes dissatisfied with your services or has a particular complaint, do what you can to resolve it.

Even before investigating the complaint, and taking steps to find a resolution, there are three-steps you can take with a complaining client:

1. Acknowledge the complaint

2. Respect the individual

3. Offer a preliminary response

a) Empathize with the problem or consequences, or

b) Sympathize with the person, or

c) Apologize for your mistake or oversight, or

d) Offer any sincere combination of these.

Acknowledging that there is a complaint means not stonewalling and not avoiding the client's calls. It means receiving the complaint but it does not automatically involve an acceptance of the validity of the complaint. Acknowledgment moves the complaint process forward.

Respecting the individual, if not the substance of the complaint, is crucial to resolving the dispute. Now is not the time to chronicle your own list of complaints about the client. Show restraint toward the client's emotional involvement in the dispute, and respect for the person. Don't do or say anything to malign or denigrate the individual just because the client has complained about you.

The third stage in addressing the complaint depends on the nature of the complaint and the degree to which you can genuinely express these sentiments in the circumstances:

a) Empathize with how the person feels.

If the person has become frustrated and annoyed because you have been unable to return calls, you can easily say that you would feel the same in the reverse circumstance. This is a means of acknowledging the person's feelings without necessarily validating the complaint.

b) Sympathize with the person's plight.

Even if you cannot identify with the other person's feelings (to empathize), you can find the internal resources to sympathize (to support the person and take a share of their discomfort). "I sympathize with your plight... unfortunately, it is unavoidable."

c) Apologize.

If you have made a simple mistake, accept responsibility and apologize. Apologize when that course of action is available to you. You know the difference between a mistake that incurs legal liability, and a mere client relations snafu.

d) If you can empathize, sympathize, and apologize, do it all.

Sometimes all that is necessary is an intermediary or go-between who is not emotionally involved.

Always follow up with the client after a complaint is resolved. And analyze it to learn from your experience.