Let's fiddle with the news
Today in the New York Times:
"The new Conservative government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper has earmarked nearly $200 million for new housing in the territory in its budget, but that fell short of what the previous Liberal government had promised."
Three problems just jumped out at me as I read the news:
earmarked
fell short
35 word-length sentence
A version that would work better for the average reader:
The new Conservative government has budgeted nearly $200 million for new housing in the territory which is less than the last Liberal government promised."
"The new Conservative government of Prime Minister Stephen Harper has earmarked nearly $200 million for new housing in the territory in its budget, but that fell short of what the previous Liberal government had promised."
Three problems just jumped out at me as I read the news:
earmarked
fell short
35 word-length sentence
A version that would work better for the average reader:
The new Conservative government has budgeted nearly $200 million for new housing in the territory which is less than the last Liberal government promised."
posted by Stephens at
8:24 AM
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